Spinsters weave the threads of their own destinies. That even includes the threads on their heads--their hair! Recently, my sister Rachel cut off nine inches of her Rapunzel-like hair to donate to charity. She now has a short, shiny blond bob, and she loves it.
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| Rachel Rapunzel |
The best part about Rachel's new look is that she chose it, no one else's input required. Too many men and women feel pressure to dress and behave according to a partner's desires. I have heard comments like these: "Yeah, your hair looks great, but I just loved it long." "Your beard is okay, but I prefer you clean shaven." "Won't you consider a wax? I'd be happy to pay for it." These are far from generous compliments. These are molding statements. They are attempts by one partner to mold the other partner into his or her ideal. When did we become more wax and clay than human? Forget these molds: partners should love each other for who they are. Although encouraging one another to remain healthy and happy is fine, bullying each other, even passive aggressively, to fit an ideal is not.
Even more disturbing than the molds partners try to pour us into is our willingness to squeeze into them. And who can blame us? We all want to be liked. We want to be attractive. But isn't "healthy and happy" attractive enough? A smiling person is sure to be liked. We are drawn to joyful people. Whether it is because we want to find out what is making them so happy (get me some of that!) or because their joy inspires that feeling in us, we gravitate toward people comfortable in their own skins.
My sister's happiness in her new haircut is solely self-derived. She decided to cut her locks, she decided to donate her hair, and she is happy because of it. And that has made everyone around her a little more joyful, too.
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| Rachel Revised |
Cheers,
Super Spinster
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