Romance on a Budget—Thrifty Dating Ideas

Dear friends,

Financial savvy is the new sexy. Rather than be saddled with an immature partner in need of adulting classes, I seek a partner who knows how to manage his money and his life. When my date pulls out a gift card at a nice place, I'll admit it: I go weak at the knees.  I don't consider it “cheap” to know a good deal; it’s thrifty, and my Scotch blood loves it.

If you seek romance but worry you cannot afford it, fear not! You needn’t fall into debt to fall in love.   Try the following ideas for great dates that help you learn about the other person but leave money to spare:

Picnic—find a local park, bring food and drink, and ask your date to bring something, too.  You’ll learn a lot about your date by what he or she brings. On one of my park escapades, my date brought a table cloth, cutlery, lawn chairs, two kinds of wine (in case I didn’t like one of them), and takeout from one of my favorite places.  The man knew what he was doing, and we had a great time picnicking while looking out over the water.

Volunteer Event—plant a tree, pack a box of food, volunteer for a cause you support.  You’ll discover whether your date is generous and can work as a team, and even if the date is a bust, you did something nice for someone else. Visit Volunteer Match for ideas.  For Metro Detroiters, try Gleaner's Food Bank for a fun half a day out.     

Museum or Art Gallery—You don’t have to know anything about history or art for this outing.  Usually these places are free, and wandering around admiring the exhibits is a useful way to psychoanalyze your date.  I take many of my dates to the Detroit Institute of Arts and surreptitiously unravel their ids, egos, and super egos based on their responses to the art. Impressionism fan? Classic romantic.  Modernism aficionado? Willing to think outside the box. Fascinated by the sculptures of male nudes? Probably gay. Looks bored or tries to touch the art? End of tour. 

Free Concerts or Movies—So what if the free movie in the park is Trolls?  Pop some popcorn and bring a picnic blanket.  Keep it PG around the kids, but if you plan to get adventurous, take it to the back row. 

Hiking—Hiking is an effective, cost-effective form of interrogation, and you should use it if you want to discover whatever your date is hiding.  

In my experience, most men prefer to handle serious topics when facing the same way as their conversation partner.  For example, men prefer to speak seriously when sitting at a counter or next to someone in a car. They can spill their souls without ever making eye contact and can pretend the conversation is merely casual. Most women, however, want to look at the person speaking. They sit across the table in order to watch body language and facial expressions. Think about the ladies from Sex and the City sitting in a restaurant sharing their sexual escapades over a meal, unable to hide anything from their perceptive girlfriends. 
 
We reveal a lot in the twitch of a nervous foot or the side glance of a lie, and we mimic the body language of people we like or agree with. (Here's a link to a site about the science of reading body language: The Science of People) Although we should watch the body language of our partners closely, this can stress people out (like they know what we're doing...), so go on that hike, give your date a few miles to feel the endorphin hit, then let the questioning begin. 

Choose your Meals Wisely—If you must observe the ritual of eating out, cut your costs by meeting for lunch over dinner and coffee over drinks.  

Lunch entrees are delicious and discounted from their dinner equivalents. If you are not a drinker, lunch does not invite heavy boozing, and it offers an easy out because who doesn’t have something to do that afternoon?  It is harder to make this excuse in the evening when the only places to go are out with someone else or home to bed (no shame in that!). 

As for beverage dates, coffee over beer. I have dated men who slug a few beers and start telling me their sexual frustrations with past loves or how many kids we are going to have.  Although these confessions told me a lot, I couldn’t drink enough alcohol to make them okay. Abort! Abort! Abort! I ran to my car and took off thankful for my caffeinated sobriety.

This man clearly prefers his date over the sculpture.  

No matter how many dates you go on, choose an activity you enjoy, and don’t break the bank.  Save your money for yourself or for someone worth the expense. By suggesting these thrifty and fun outings, you show your date that you are not just in it for the money; you are in it for the person.  Besides, if your date tries to stick you with the bill on one of these dates, who cares? It didn’t cost much to learn he or she is a loser! So far, no man has dared stick me with the bill, but maybe that’s because I tell my dates up front that I am a debt collection attorney.  Have I mentioned I love my job? Check, please!

Do you have recommendations for inexpensive dates?  I would love to hear them. Please share below.

Cheers,

The Super Spinster